Hi all,

This is my blog, purpose is to update all my friends and family on how I am and what myself, the family and our friends have planned for the time I have left.

I will include updates on my treatments, how I am feeling and what we are planning as a family. I do have a lot planned so don't expect daily updates, hopefully this will give you some general information but I am happy to answer questions and all suggestions are welcome.


Friday, 16 September 2011

Where has this year gone???

Well its September, kids are back at school and we are already planning Christmas and New Year.

Before we get into the gritty stuff, a quick update on our latest antics.  Yes we did another fancy dress barge trip for Daves birthday, which depite the rain was fantastic.  (having had a number of fancy dress activities recently we are now the face of Aladdins Cave on facebook). Then we went down south to celebrate Al and Amy's house move.  And finally our little people are now both back in school full time with Tom being a fully invested Beaver and Katie now training to be a Ballerina (so gorgeous). So thanks to Nanny (we are so lucky) we are busy packing for our holiday to Turkey with D&D, chilling out in the sunshine, planing cards, eating lots and having the occassional drink.

When I used to work for a living I am sure we used to do a lot less...at least I think we did.  A couple of my blog readers have commented recently on how much we do and I would like to think this is normal and not related to my being ill its probably not I just started off a bit more discreetly.  Being retired gives me the time and inclination to arrange things for us to do but those of you who remember me in my late teens and early twenties will know that this is nothing new.  As an apprentice at Lostock I transformed from the shy and retiring girl I was at school into the person who nagged all my friends into coming with me whilst I did a variety of things I'd either never done or even some of the things we just liked doing.

These included regular trips to Blackpool for the weekend, (sometimes in a tent that didn't have a door), camping, climbing, caving (thanks to Gareth), trips up and down the country just for the hell of it, running into the sea in February in a wetsuit that didn't fit me (not a good idea).  Yes I was blacklisted by Butlitns but got round that by using other peoples name and adresses.  Its only looking back now that I realise I haven't changed at all, I just had a quiet lull when little people came along and I was too shattered to think of yet more things to do.

So as you can see this last year has been relatively normal stuff for those who know me well, the only difference being that some people have grown up and moved into doing proper things, whilst others have regressed to doing the things that they didn't do in their teenage years.  I guess when I think about it now, I'm not shy and retiring but bossy and organised refusing to let things get in my way....like this damn cancer.

So on to that subject.  As I never really sit still these days I have been fairing well with the Radiotherapy, Herceptin and Chemo, but alas the time has come for me to start feeling a little bit poorly.   Now don't panic, I'm fine, I just occassionally feel a little bit wooozy, (think about when you have had way too much to drink and have to concentrate to walk in a straight line) well thats how I feel at the moment, without the alcohol in my system.  With this in mind I have to look back to April 2010 when the doc told me that I might live til Christmas (2010) and feel grateful that we have done so much this year and still have a lot more planned. 

Yes those of you who know me will recognise that I am a stubborn cow who rarely lets anything get the better of me but over the past week or so I have started to recognise that I am not I am not going to be here forever...and being the stubborn cow that I am, I am determined to fight against it and make sure we continue to do lots to make some good memories for those I leave behind.

With this in mind we are actively planning more things to do which include; me and Clare going to see erasure in concert like we did 20 years ago, a variety of weddings and wedding parties, another trip to Alton Towers and maybe a visit from our friends from down south...or a trip down to them.  As you are aware all of this is only possible thanks to our wonderful family who help with the kids (Nanny + Grandad/Wendy +Ray), but if any of you have any ideas or suggestions you know where I am.

Well time to go, as this (grrr) laptop is going back into the shop again to have it keys stuck back on, but I will be back in touch with you all soon. 

Enjoy the rest of this gorgeous summer as we head into Autumn.

Love from me x


  1. I love your blog posts and I would love to come to one of your fancy dress parties one day - I love fancy dress parties but no-one else ever seems to feel the same!! Anne (Burns - my Google account was for work so it's not clear who I am!!) xxx

  2. Enjoyed coming to the group today Toni, have loved reading your blog posts this evening , you are an inspiration and you buy yummy biscuits!



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